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What you need to survive the 10 day green smoothie cleanse

What you need to survive the 10 day green smoothie cleanse

Welcome! I first found out about J.J. Smith’s green smoothie cleanse on a friend’s facebook page. I tried it, lost 6.2 lbs in 5 days, and was forever hooked! Now I’m letting you know what you need to survive the 10 day green smoothie cleanse […]

Why is math important? Easy ways to learn math for your preschooler

Why is math important? Easy ways to learn math for your preschooler

Why is math important? Why is math important? This question may bring anxiety to your mind as a mom or you may be cheering from the sidelines because you already know! I will attempt to answer this question and provide suggestions on easy ways to […]

30 Signs of a Thyroid Problem -My Personal Struggle with Hypothyroidism

30 Signs of a Thyroid Problem -My Personal Struggle with Hypothyroidism

I recently have learned quite a bit about the thyroid and the signs of a thyroid problem in my personal struggle with hypothyroidism. Learn what your thyroid’s function is and exactly where it’s at. I explain how important it is to have a healthy thyroid and the different symptoms of hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism. Learn about T3 and T4 and even about an anti-suicidal spray commissioned by the U.S. Army!

What Is Your Thyroid?

To understand how you can have an underactive thyroid or even thyroid problems you first need to understand what your thyroid is. The thyroid is a small, 2 inches wide, butterfly shaped gland located right below your adam’s apple. Trouble finding it?

Hold some liquid in your mouth, tip your head back, and swallow and you should be able to see your thyroid move.

I know all this! Take me to the  Thyroid Treatment Kit!

What Does Your Thyroid Do?

Next you might be wondering on what the thyroid’s function is. What does your thyroid actually do? Your thyroid is part of the endocrine system and it plays a very important role in the body. The thyroid secretes thyroid hormones, T3 & T4 into your blood stream which is then distributed to almost every cell in your body.

Some of the functions in your body that your thyroid directly affects are:

  • metabolic rate
  • breathing
  • muscle strength
  • body temperature
  • cholesterol levels
  • heart rate
  • menses or menstrual function
  • nervous system development

Do you know that during gestation, how your baby’s spine grows and develops is affected by your thyroid? In fact if a baby is severely lacking in TH (thyroid hormones) he may develop cretenism. This is a severe disorder that includes deafness, ataxia, and mental retardation.

Did You Know?

Your thyroid uses iodine to create its hormones. If a woman is pregnant or breastfeeding, double the normal iodine intake is recommended for normal fetal development!

Hopefully by now you realize how vital it is to ensure your thyroid is healthy and working properly!

You develop thyroid problems when your thyroid is producing either too much or too little TH.

 

How Does Your Thyroid Know To Produce Thyroid Hormones?

The process of producing TH is actually pretty simple. It begins in the hypothalamus which secretes Thyrotropinreleasing hormone (TRH).  TRH also called  thyroliberin or thyrotropin-releasing factor (TRF).

TRH travels to the pituitary gland and causes it to secrete Thyroid-stimulating Hormone (TSH). TSH then travels to your thyroid and tells it how much thyroid hormones to release. The majority of your TH that is released by your thyroid is Thyroxine or T4. The thyroid then converts a small portion of T4 into T3 or the Triiodothyronine hormone.
T3 and T4 production

Did You Know?

TRH has a calming affect and relieves depressive, suicidal, and anxious thoughts. So much so that in 2012, the U.S. Army granted $3 million dollars to the Indiana University School of Medicine. The grant was for this team to develop an anti-suicidal spray for the troops. TRH works quickly and can cross the blood brain barrier easily through the nasal cavitiy.

What causes Thyroid Disorders or Abnormal Thyroid?

Now you may be wondering how your thyroid gets out of whack! What causes thyroid disease or how do you develop an abnormal thyroid? Your thyroid levels can become out of control by the attack of disease and inflammation.

Hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) may be caused by problems with the pituitary gland  so that not enough TSH is produced. Temporary inflammation and medications may also restrict your TH and cause low thyroid levels.

In fact, if your thyroid hormones fall low enough it can lead to loss of conciousness, a drop in your body’s temperature, and can be life threatening. Hashimoto’s disease is a common autoimmune disorder that causes hypothyroidism.

thyroid disorder

Hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid) may be caused by an autoimmune disorder called Graves disease. Some of the symptoms are protruding or puffy eyes, anxiety, and tremors. More than 3 million people in the U.S. suffer from Grave’s disease annually.

A person may also notice swelling in the neck which is usually attributed to a goiter. A goiter can be a symptom of hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. Future tests must be done to determine if the cause if due to an overactive or underactive thyroid.

Another sign of a thyroid problem are thyroid nodules. A person may discover a painless lump on their thyroid. Thyroid nodules may cause hyperthyrodism but normally they do not affect your thyroid hormones. However thyroid nodules can develop into cancer and even cause hoarseness by affecting your vocal cords. Thyroid nodules can also limit your breathing, affect your swallowing, and cause you to feel a tickle in your throat. This usually means a nodule has grown large enough and is pushing down on your esophagus or windpipe.

I want to start taking back my thyroid health now!

How Do You Check Your Thyroid Function?

Radioactive iodine uptake test

There are several tests that check your thyroid function to determine if its healthy or not.  A patient may be given a radioactive uptake iodine test where she is given a radioactive iodine in pill or liquid form. This iodine then collects in their thyroid. A thyroid scan is then performed to check how the radioactive iodine shows up in the thyroid. The focus is on how much iodine your thyroid has absorbed and the location of it in your thyroid gland.

thyroid disorder, testing for thyroid disease

Thyroid Ultrasound

Besides blood tests and physical examination, a thyroid ultrasound is often used to check thyroid nodules. This ultrasound utilizes sound waves and it is very effective as it displays an acurate picture of nodule size and wheter or not the nodule is filled with fluid or a solid.

Thyroid Fine Needle Aspiration Biopsy

Thyroid fine needle aspiration biopsy involves inserting a very fine needle into the thyroid and removing cells and fluid. This is used most often to see if thyroid nodules are cancerous. It can also be utilized to treat cysts. The procedure takes about 20 minutes.

Did You Know?

A very small amount, 10%, of thyroid nodules are actually cancerous. The rest are benign and harmless and are called adenomas.

Thyroid Blood Test

There are various blood tests that are used to check your thyroid function. Most often general blood tests that check the T4 or TSH levels are administered first. It these tests show abnormal thyroid levels, then more specific tests are administered.

Did You Know?

High TSH Levels = Hypothyroidism 

Low TSH Levels = Hyperthyroidism 

There is controversy on the thyroid function blood tests administered as naturalists and others well versed in thyroid disorders report that in general, medical doctors rely on the broad blood tests instead of ordering specific blood tests. These include:

Thyroglobulin Antibodies

Free T3

Free T4

Reverse T3

Thyroid Peroxidase Antibodies

TSH

The opposing view is that many people suffer from thyroid dysfunction and problems, but their symptoms go undetected because general practitioners rely on blood tests that do not provide an accurate picture of the patients’ condition. You can further explore this debate here.

30 Signs of a Thyroid Problem

Hyperthyroid (Overactive Thyroid) Symptoms

  1. Anxiousness
  2. Excessive Sweating
  3. Weight Loss
  4. Fast heart rate
  5. High blood pressure
  6. Insomnia
  7. Restlessness
  8. Feeling Irritable
  9. Hair Loss
  10. Sensitivity to Heat
  11. Muscle Weakness
  12. Pounding Heart Sensation
  13. Trembling Hands
  14. Vision Issues
  15. Diarrhea
  16. Abnormal Menstrual Periods
  17. Swelling around the neck

Extreme hyperthyroidism causes brittle bones and serious heart problems.

overactive thyroid, underactive thyroid

Hypothyroid (Underactive Thyroid) Symptoms

  1. Dry Skin & Brittle Nails
  2. Constipation
  3. Weight gain
  4. Tiredness & Sluggishness
  5. Mental Fog, Unable to Focus
  6. Fluid Retention
  7. Feeling Depressed
  8. Hair Loss
  9. Unable to tolerate cold, feeling cold all the time
  10. Muscle and Joint Pain
  11. Periods are longer than normal; bleeding is excessive
  12. Slow heart rate
  13. Numbness or Tingling in Hands

Per Mayo Clinic it is more common for women older than 60 to have hypothyroidism. A person may also be susceptible to an underactive thyroid because of their genetics. Swelling around the neck may also be a sign of hypothyroidism.

Long term, a person with an underactive thyroid may also be come obese or infertile and suffer from heart disease.

My Struggle with Hypothyroidism

I am currently 34 and looking back on my life, I can say I first notice the symptoms of an underactive thyroid as a teenager. From the get go, I had terrible and painful menstrual periods that would leave me curled up on my shower floor puking. Our family moved to the United States when I was 14 years old and I suffered greatly at school from the constant AC that the Americans seemed to so greatly love.

I remember my hands turning literally purple and my entire body appeared blotchy. I would try to dress as warm as I could while I watched my peers run around in short sleeves complaining about the heat. I was first introduced to coffee and I often used that to try and warm up, not realizing how detrimental it was to my body.

natural thyroid remedies

I have struggled with chronic depression from I was a young child. In recent years as I have begun to take active steps in regaining my health I now attribute the physical component of that to being severly anemic and suffering from an underactive thyroid. I also often felt numbness or tingling in my hands.

I would slather tons of lotion on my legs and I couldn’t figure out why my skin was always so dry. In the dead of winter it was the worse and the skin on my hands and legs would crack and bleed. My nails were soft and bent easily and I could never grow the strong, long nails I admired on my peers’ hands.

hypothyroidism, hyperthyroidism

During my college years, as my thyroid disorder grew worse so did my symptoms. My depression increased and the mental fog took over. There were many times I would read an article and forget almost instantly what I had read. It was hard to remember my studies and although I generally made good grades, it was an uphill struggle.

Constant fatigue plagued me and constipation coupled the diuretic effects of coffee. I had terrible edema or fluid retention with my 1st pregnancy, my feet and ankles swelled up to double their size.

Throughout the years, I sought help from many doctors, describing my symptoms and not once did any practitioner mentioned a thyroid disorder. Instead, most of my symptoms were blamed on being anemic and suffering from endometriosis.  However, after my first child, my symptoms that were blamed on endometriosis had all but disappeared.

When I became pregnant with my 2nd child, three years ago, I was so badly anemic, I had to have iron infusions at the hospital.

Taking the Road Back To Health

I would say that since the birth of my daughter, I have begun to take my health back. I began taking a natural iron supplement and as my iron built up, I began to feel a little better. However, the majority of my symptoms were still present.

1 year ago is when I began to be more intentional about my health and really try and figure out what was going on. I remember feeling so absolutely tired, depressed, and feeling as if I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other. My face was pale, and it was hard to think coherently. I was freezing even in the summertime.

By this time through research and visiting a naturalist, I had learned about thyroid disorder. So I made an appointment at a local doctor. Once there I described my symptoms to the nurse practitioner who saw me. For the first time ever, I heard the words, “that sounds exactly like you have a thryoid problem.”

I couldn’t believe it and was super excited when she ordered the blood tests. And then the results came back. Per the general thyroid function tests I was given, my thyroid was perfectly fine.

I still remember the nurse’s voice at the end of the phone as she gave me my results. She made me feel as if I was a hypochondriac and that I was making up my symptoms.

Thank God I knew better than the nurse practitioner.

I bought a book on Thyroid Disorders and began to learn all about my hypothyroidism. I was astonished that although all my symptoms pointed to a book perfect underactive thyroid, the medical doctors refused to follow their original instinct but blindly believed a general test.

I learned that there were ways around general practitioners refusing to administer more specific thyroid function tests. I strongly encourage you to do a google search in the area where you live. There are many walk-in labs that will perform the needed tests for you. You will also want to find a naturopathic or professional who specializes in natural thyroid treatment.

Treating my Hypothyroidism

The next step of course was actually treating my underactive thyroid. When it comes to medications, I try to stay as natural as possible and avoid prescription drugs. Thankfully I had found a natural and organic company who products I trust and whose customers rated at a very high 4.9.

Here is part of their history directly from their site:

Dr. Edward F. Group III founded Global Healing Center in 1998 with the goal of providing the highest quality natural health information and products. He is world-renowned for his research on the root cause of disease. Under his leadership, Global Healing Center earned recognition as one of the largest natural and organic health resources in the world (Global Healing Center, 2018).”

In addition to his other degrees, Dr. Group has these certifications from the Natural Healing Institute of Naturopathy.

  • Naturopathic Practitioner Degree (NP)
  • Certified Clinical Nutritionist (CCN)
  • Holistic Healing Practitioner (HHP)
  • Certified Clinical Herbalist (CCH)

Natural Thyroid Treatment Kit

I ordered the natural thyroid treatment kit that they sold and started taking it per the instructions. By day 4, I felt like a different person! That unhealthy feeling of tiredness and sickness began to drain away and I discovered I actually started to have energy to do things!

I am now on day 15 and I can attest that this thyroid treatment works!!! I have been walking, swimming, and finding energy to be way more active. I can now take walks with my husband and feel good about it instead of barely making it in the door exhausted.

My thinking is more clearer than ever and as I’m studying and reading, I’m astounded at how much material I can recall. Writing is so much more easier and not a chore as it was before.

I am happier! Although my depression is not completely gone, I’m amazed at how much more resilient I am to life’s stressors. I notice how much easier it is to brush off negative situations. I notice how much more I’m enjoying life. I know how much more I’m smiling.

My relationship has improved with my husband since taking this thyroid treatment. I feel more like the woman he fell in love with.

My temperature has regulated and I now feel like a normal person. No more bundling up. I even enjoy AC now, although in moderate amounts.

Here are the three medicines included in their thyroid treatment kit:

Detoxadine:

Nascent Iodine- Perhaps the most important part of the treatment as your thyroid must have iodine to produce hormones.  Nascent iodine is more easily absorbed by the body. The suggested use is 3 drops immediately washed down with purified water. If you have ever used iodine on cuts as a child, you will recognize the taste. Here’s a tip from using it: Place the drops further back on your tongue so the taste is not as strong.

Take Detoxadine once daily. Most people report better results 30 minutes before you eat in the morning.

Global Healing’s Detoxadine contains glycerin instead of alcohol so its easier on your digestive system. Here is a description from their site:

The iodine is from “300 million-year-old salt deposits located more than 7,000 feet below the earth’s surface. It is an extremely pure nascent iodine that is both concentrated and free of additives and toxins. Each drop is loaded with 650 micrograms iodine and it’s screened for radiation (Global Healing, 2018).”

Selenium: 

Selenium- Derived from 100% organic mustard seed- This is a trace mineral with anti-oxidant properties. It provides immune support for your body and helps produce glutathione peroxidase which protects your thyroid.  Selenium is a must for thyroid health.

Suggested Use is one capsule daily with food.

Vegan Safe B-12:

Vitamin B-12 naturally suports your cardiovascular and nervous system health. It also helps to build your red blood cells and is a source of energy!

Global Healing’s Vitamin B-12 is formulated so that it does not have to be metabolized by the liver and is safer and more effective.

Suggested use is 1 ml held in your mouth for 15 seconds and then swallowed. I usually take this the same time as the Detoxadine as most people find it more effective when taken 30 minutes before eating in the morning.

Although I have never had a bad experience, Global Healing offers a 100% No-Risk 180-Day Money Back Guarantee.

I hope this post has been useful to you and that you have much better understanding of how your thyroid works and why it is important to recognize the 30 signs of thyroid problems! 

If you try this natural thyroid treatment kit, please let me know about your experience as I would love to hear feedback!

Cheers, Mrs. G

iodine thyroid treatment

 

 

To all the Single Moms on Mother’s Day

To all the Single Moms on Mother’s Day

For all the Truly Single Moms As I sit down to write this post I want to be extremely clear who I am writing if for. This is for all the SINGLE moms on Mother’s Day. If you are a mom, that does not automatically mean you […]

10 Mother’s Day Gift Ideas for the Mom Blogger!

10 Mother’s Day Gift Ideas for the Mom Blogger!

Why Your Mommy Blogger Deserves to Feel Special Hey fathers, friends, and family of a mom blogger! This Sunday is Mother’s Day! Have you bought your mother’s day gifts yet? If you have have been procrastinating, here are 10 Mother’s Day gift ideas for the […]

What is Mindfulness?- How I Practiced It At A Nail Salon

What is Mindfulness?- How I Practiced It At A Nail Salon

What is Mindfulness?

In recent years mindfulness has grown in popularity, so you probably already know what is mindfulness or have at least heard of it. So what is this fantastic life changing practice that social media, health gurus, and counselors keep harping about?

mental health

The concept of mindfulness is so simple, it seems stupid.  The American Psychological Association says it this way: “…paying attention to one’s experience in the present moment. It involves observing thoughts and emotions from moment to moment without judging or becoming caught up in them.”

Or how about my definition: Mindfulness is simply being present in the moment. Being aware of what you are doing, what you are participating in and observing your thoughts, emotions, and body reactions in great detail.

what is mindfulness

Benefits of Practicing Mindfulness

Slow Down Your Thoughts:

As a mom we ALWAYS have things that need to be done. School drop offs, lunches to pack, costumes to make or buy, soccer shorts to pretreat and wash, ballet classes for your 2 year old, crap, you forgot to bring the snacks again. You know the drill.

In fact many people wake up and it’s like a giant bungee cord is attached to them as they jump out of bed and go, go, go until they finally snap back to sleep at night. Or they try to. So many people have sleeping problems because they are unable to control their racing thoughts and shut off their brain. Mindfulness helps to quiet your mind.

benefits of mindfulness

Improves Your Sleep:

As you learn to quiet your mind at night, you will be able to fall asleep much quicker. There are many relaxation exercises that you can try before or while you are in bed.

Develop Conscious Appreciation for your Life:

When you practice mindfulness, you become aware of the minute details that you never noticed before. Instead of just seeing grass, you notice the beautiful ladybug flitting about, or the studious ants faithfully gathering crumbs.

Instead of complaining about the dark and dreary weather, you notice the cool drops on your face, the swish of the wipers, the spray of water thrown up by the tires.  In fact you put some boots on your kiddos and like the Peppa Pig, you all “go jump in muddy puddles!” Being mindful can help to reduce your anxiety and depression.

benefits of mindfulness

Mindfulness is a stress reliever.

In 2010, a clinical study was conducted on people who attended stress reduction group based around mindfulness. After 8 weeks, they were tested using fMRI (brain imaging) against the control group that had not taken the classes.

The results were astounding. The participants in the mindfulness group had developed emotional regulation strategies different from that of the control group. In layman’s terms this means that when they watched the same film as the control group, the neurons in their brain was calmer and they processed what they saw differently than the control group.  Practicing mindfulness gave them more control of their emotions and lessened their stress.

Mindfulness helps to improve your relationships.

When you think about what you just read, this makes total sense! If you are practicing mindfulness and you are more relaxed and happy wouldn’t you approach your relationship differently? Instead of letting what is going on in the relationship stress you out, you can take a step back and form healthy thoughts. Practicing mindfulness increases relationship satisfaction. 

Mindfulness helps to develop flexible thinking. 

You can reason that maybe your partner is tired and that’s why he forgot to take out the trash instead of automatically assuming he’s lazy. You can even communicate in a more healthy way without judgment. Your outlook on life is brighter and you feel more happy with your relationship. This is because you have been practicing mindfulness and you have developed the skill of self-observation. You have developed flexible thinking and you now look at situtions in a different way. Mindfulness helps you to be less reactive and develops cognitive flexibility.

benefits of mindfulness

How to practice Mindfulness

There are a ton of ways to practice mindful thinking. Just a quick google search will pop up 100s of results for you. Here are two of my favorite ways in which I practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness Coloring & Dot to Dot Books:

I’m sure you have seen these all over the place, you can pretty much find these books in whatever genre or style you are interested in. They range from pretty simple to extremely complicated. I currently have a Dot to Dot Book on Famous Faces.

Check out my connect the dot of Mother Teresa with over a thousand and twenty dots! I think this took me about 3 weeks to complete working on it steadily. These books essentially force you to focus due to their complexity. As you begin to color or connect the dots, you gradually begin to focus more and more on what you are doing.

Think about the crayon, or coloring pencil, or pen in your hand. Feel its weight. Watch how it glides smoothly over the paper. Marvel at the pretty colors and the masterpiece you are creating. Think about how your body feels as you do this activity. Are you relaxed and peaceful or are you concerned about getting it just right. Remember to observe your thoughts without judging.

Here are some pretty cool ones that I found:

Practicing Mindfulness at the Nail Salon

Do you know that you can practice mindfulness pretty much anywhere? Here’s a real life example for you. It was the day before my mother in law would leave after a 10 day visit. I decided to take advantage of the situation and go get a mani pedi. After all my nails were ghastly and as it’s pretty much summer I couldn’t continue to bear the scrutiny of  stranger’s eyes on my ragged toes anymore!

I was new to the area and it was the first time at this nail salon so understandably I was a little nervous on how it would go. Now let me just update you on my past experiences at nail salons. I’m normally quite tense and worried about the entire situation. The anxious thoughts kick in and thoughts such as “Is the manicurist totally grossed out by my feet? Oh no, she’s rubbing lotion all over my legs, I should have shaved!”

benefits of mindfulness

Not to mention one of the salons I went to in the past obviously did not get clean their tools properly and I had gotten a nail fungus from them! This salon was top notch though, they opened a brand new packet of tools right in front of you. I also have huge scars on my knee from knee surgeries and a machete chop (yea that’s another story). So I almost never pull my leggings or pants higher than my knees because I want to be able to relax without worrying about people’s staring eyes.

So these were all the thoughts going through my head as I made my way to the pedicure station and sat down. Immediately my lady began running the warm water and I made sure to quickly roll up my leggings instead. She then placed my feet in the deliciously warm water. Determined to take my mind off of me and what she was doing, I began listening to the lady besides me who was chatting merrily away with her manicurist.

She was clearly a regular and regaled all of us who were listening with her interesting tales of being a 911 operator. She was a larger black lady, polite and with the most happiest attitude ever. I responded to her stories and we even ended up discussing wheel of fortune which was playing on the TV.

I was still not completely relaxed though and I admired how relaxed she seemed. And then, suddenly in the midst of all the chatting, giggling broke out. Everyone turned an looked and then we too started laughing. The source of the giggling was this petite Asian woman who was having her hands and feet worked on at the same time by 2 different manicurists. When the manicurist began scrubbing her feet she couldn’t help herself from giggling at the tickling.

Being in the Moment with Mindfulness

I think that just simply broke the ice for everyone, at least it did for me. One lady said, “You just go ahead and laugh girl.” And with that statement, I finally allowed myself to relax. At previous sessions I was always afraid to put the massage chair back because I thought I would impede progress. Now I selected exactly the settings I desired and reclined it as far as I WANTED. I notice that the little lady was closing her eyes as they worked on her.

I followed suit, leaned back, and closed my eyes. And finally put mindfulness into action. I enjoyed the gentle massage on my legs, felt the warm water as she rinsed, and the smoothness of the lotion. I opened my eyes and watched as she carefully painted my nails one by one. I noticed how relaxed my body had become instead of being tense and stiff.

When it was time for my mani I closed my eyes as she massaged and exfoliated my arms. I notice how relaxed I felt and how focused. I notice how I didn’t care what anyone else thought of me in that moment. I watched as she dipped the little brush in polish and observed the tiny brush marks it left behind. I didn’t force myself to talk.

Instead I decided to just go with the flow and with what I was feeling. And so my mind became quiet, I became focused, and I enjoyed those moments at the nail salon. To this day, it’s the best salon experience I’ve had. All because I decided to practice being mindful.

benefits of mindfulnes

Mindfulness Challenge

I hope my writings have inspired you to practice mindfulness. As I said before there are 100s of different ways in which to practice it. Here is a really good site I found with lots of free downloads. It has everything from mindful breathing, mindful body scans, mindfulness practices, sitting meditations, mindful movements, and guided imagery. You can also search for mindful meditation in audio or mindful meditation scripts. 

 

You have learned today what mindfulness is, then benefits of mindfulness, and some ways to practice it. My challenge for you this week, is to practice it for 5 minutes at a time every day. I think you will be surprised at how being present and enjoying moments of time without judgment can positively affect your life.

Cheers! Sincerely, Mrs. G

Struggling with brain fog? This might be the reason!

 

Disclaimer: The thoughts and ideas presented are gathered via careful curation, research, and experience. As a reader you are expected to utilize your own critical thinking and judgment in deciding what applies to you and the actions you take. Thank you for reading. 

Why Getting Rid of Toy Clutter is a Must

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Blouse with bow-Shop my favorite women’s blouse!

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This blouse with bow will be your new favorite! Psssttt. Mother’s Day is coming up and I wanted to share with you my current favorite women’s blouse! This blouse with bow has been around forever and it is so chic and goes so well with […]

How to Save Your Marriage without Relationship or Marriage Counseling!

How to Save Your Marriage without Relationship or Marriage Counseling!

As I began research for this post, I was shocked to discover that the word “divorce” is the highest searched word on google at 245,939 searches a month! Imagine, I typed in how to make your marriage stronger and instead of finding encouraging, helpful keywords, divorce was the top trending word!

It is so sad that in our society today, divorce is consider the answer to marital problems versus comitting to marital vows and taking necessary steps to resolve the issues.

Maybe the thought of divorce has crossed your mind in the last week, maybe you are actively seeking one. Maybe you yourself have thought of marriage or relationship counseling.

Maybe you can’t understand why you are having all these marriage problems. How did something that started out so beautifully turn out so tragic you wonder.

Well don’t give up just yet! There is hope! I want to introduce you to this absolutely fantastic book that I’ve been reading for the past month. No, I’m not a slow reader, just have million things to do, I’m sure you understand!

The 5 Love Languages Review

It’s called The 5 Love Languages and it’s written by Dr. Gary Chapman. A counselor, Dr. Chapman has counseled thousands of struggling couples over the years and is a prolific writer. I would love to have his dossier!

He has helped many spouses save their marriage by implementing these five love languages he says we all have. They are acts of service, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time.

Here is a brief explanation of what each love language means:

Acts of Service:

Has anyone ever said to you, “Actions speak louder than words?'” That might give you a hint into what their love language is. They don’t want you to simply tell them you love them, you need to SHOW them. You need to actively DO something for that person that they would appreciate.

Receiving Gifts:

Well I don’t think I have to explain this one, these people LOVE gifts!!! My love language is receiving gifts and let me tell you it makes me feel special to receive ANY gift. It can be as small as a dandelion from my 2 year old to a plane ticket for a vacay or some nice jewelry.

Words of Affirmation:

A person with this love language loves to hear positive, affirming words from their spouse. A little “I’m proud of you!” and “good job on taking out the trash,” goes a long way.

Physical Touch:

Does your spouse ever complain, “You don’t ever hug me or kiss me?” Then their language might be physical touch. They love cuddles by the fire, a playful pat on the butt as you walk by, and of course sex.

Quality Time:

This is another of my love languages. A person who loves quality time wants just that, QUALITY time. This means, no scrolling on your phone if you are watching a movie TOGETHER. This means scheduling little dates to the local coffee house for an hour long chat. It could also mean doing an activity with her such as an art painting simply because she enjoys it.

How to Tell What My Spouse’s Love Language Is

It may be easy for you to figure out your love language, but how do you know what your spouse’s love language is? It’s pretty simple really if you start listening. Does he complain that supper is never ready or that he can’t find any clean socks? Then his love language may be acts of service. Does she complain that you never talk to her? Then her love language maybe quality time.

Does he always want sex when you are just feeling exhausted? His love language may be physical touch. Does your spouse immediately demonstrate a better mood and cheerful attitude when you compliment him on something? HIs love language may be words of affirmation.

Does she complain that she never gets anything for mother’s day or at all? Her love language may be receiving gifts. And the list goes on. Now please keep in mind that this does not mean you are a terrible person. It may simply mean that you are showing your love in your own love language instead of your spouse’s!

I’ve read enough, I want the book!

In fact this is another way to figure out your spouse’s love language. What do they most often do for you? Does he work long and hard and make sure you are well provided for? Does he take out the trash without asking or help get the kiddos ready? His love language might be acts of service. It’s important to realize that you may not appreciate what he does as much as he THINKS you do. Instead you may want him to stop working so many hours and spend some time with the family if your love language is quality time.

Why Do Marriages Succeed or Fail?

I believe a lot of marriages succeed or fail dependent on whether or not a couple’s love language is being met. Of course, there are other factors that play into this, but as I stated previously Dr. Chapman has assisted 1000s in saving their marriage this way. I have been intentionally implementing and trying to meet our love languages since reading this book.

So I pretty much know that my husband’s main love language is words of affirmation. He will definitely tell me when he doesn’t feel supported. I try and make sure I tell him I’m proud of him all the time and how much I appreciate his hard work.

On the other hand, I often want his love demonstrated through acts of service such as putting my 2 year old to sleep or playing with the kiddos so I can blog. This means more to me than him saying “I love you, babe.”

Practicing the 5 Love Languages

Here is a quick summary of how I met both of our love languages in an everyday situation. My hubs is currently working out of state, an 11 hour drive from us! So we decided to pay him a surprise visit and boy was he shocked and happy to see us! Think of this as a physical affirmation to him that we truly loved him!

He still had his regular work days when we were there, but he really wanted to see us during the day and asked if we would bring lunch for him (acts of service). I of course didn’t mind. In fact, I spent the morning baking and packed up a cute vegetarian picnic of avocadoes, bananas, pomegranate juice, and quiche. He is currently vegetarian so making sure he could eat everything was also demonstrating my love.

Then I dressed the kiddos and drove 15 minutes to meet him at a park in the town where he was working. He was so surprised to see the lunch we had brought him and stated that sincerely thought I was going to bring oranges and bananas for lunch and then leave.

Instead we had an enjoyable time enjoying the brisk, nippy spring weather-he joked that the quiche was actually good, it was my first time trying this recipe. We tried to play hopscotch-couldn’t remember the rules, rode the slide of death, and generally acted like little monkeys. After a quick bathroom break, we left a very happy hubby!

Why You Should Read the 5 Love Languages

If you are considering marriage or relationship counseling, you may want to read Dr. Chapman’s book first. It may just be the answer to the issues you are experiencing!

My husband’s reaction to me meeting his love language was positive. Best of all, he doesn’t realize that I am implementing strategies that I’ve learned from the book! In fact, I encourage you to experiment in this way and see what happens. It’s also important to realize that I did not have to go all out to meet my hubby’s love language of acts of service. He would have been just as happy if I had simply brought him lunch. However, in going the extra mile I also met my love language, quality time.

In conclusion, I hope you accept my challenge to read this book and practice showing your hubby or boyfriend that you truly love them by speaking and acting in their love language. I already recommended to my hubs that he read this book! Divorce is not an option for us and I simply love creative ways to meet marriage problems. Thanks for reading with me!

Ta ta! Sincerely, Mrs. G

 

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